Wartime Memoirs
by XxMEOWxMeWxX
Summary: AU. And the dream was all too soon shattered and the war had leaped unto our village and our peace was devoured with one fell swoop. “Youichi, what are you doing?” I asked. Maybe it was okay that life didn't always have a perfect happy ending. Two-shot


**Wartime Memoirs**

_**Nya**_

_Disclaimer: I do not own GA… of course_

_Note: Mikan and Natsume are already married_

When I first heard about the war, it seemed as if the war will never affect me – as if it only occurred in a vague, distant realm, a far away place where the cruelty and corruption of man existed; but certainly it would not affect me. Our village was peaceful and secure from, what seemed to me, all dangers. It was my sanctuary. The news first arose from Mochu, when he came back from a visit to the city, that a war had started between the Academy and the rebels. Of course, all the men were interested in the details but not my Natsume. Of course, he was different from the others since he was more knowledgeable on the matter since he was a professor. "Nothing good will come about this," he muttered to me once.

Then, after the excitement had died a bit, everyone – or rather all the females and house takers – started to worry about the new taxes and shortages, the inconveniences of war, but that's when nationalism came in. With the belief that each penny will go to 'a new world', the complaints soon died down.

But other then these changes, nothing really hit me that the war was going on. Tasks carried on as usual, months went by quickly, nothing really happened. It wasn't until dinner at Anna's did the matter of recruitment cause me to worry.

"I really do hope that they do not need more soldiers, I would really die of misery if Koko were to run off and join the war," she said as we fixed the dishes.

"Don't worry about that, I'm sure he wouldn't abandon you for all the glory in the world."

"I know. But, as you read in the news and the those old dusty history books, once the army gets to a certain time of desperation, they might force all able bodied men over the age of eighteen to join the war. It'll be just horrible!"

I clearly remember feeling as if my stomach had dropped to the ground. "Mikan, are you all right?" she asked me. "I mean, perhaps they wouldn't have to do that, and textbooks are always wrong. Besides, we're only a small village, surely they're not going to spend all the effort just to come here – of all places – where the population is miniscule compared to, let's say, Tokyo."

"Oh, Anna, I hope you're right about that. I really would not know what to do without Natsume."

And, as if on cue, he showed up on the doorway with Koko by his side. "You called?"

"We're here to help," Koko replied to the unspoken question and made his way to Anna.

Natsume stared at me with concerned eyes, "Are you okay?" And I told him about my concerns.

Surprisingly, he laughed at me, his voice ringing like wind chimes. "What's so funny? I _am_ worried about it. Gosh, I wish that you wouldn't react in such a matter," I pouted.

He ruffled hair my like I was a six year old, causing me to get more angry and him more amused. "I'm sure it'll never come to that. Besides, you know that I wouldn't ever leave you. They'll have to drag me by ropes and force me unto the front lines if they're going to get me to join the war."

"Ouch! My thumb!" shouted Koko as he accidentally created a small cut in his hand.

"Hey, don't suck on it, wash it! My goodness Koko, you're not a kid anymore. Koko, wash your finger while I'll go and fetch a bandage," Anna instructed.

And with that, the matter of war was dropped, and my mind was at peace once again. I guess I believed Natsume's words because I wanted to, and when he had said them, the situation wasn't that bad. But perhaps, as the war raged on, some form of doubt was created in my mind. His words about recruitment were indeed true at the time, but what of the future? I wondered.

Then, two years passed, and shortages were not a new thing anymore. The vegetable patches seemed to provide just enough food for the community if everyone shared, that that's exactly what we did. Everyone helped out their neighbours and friends, and was helped out in return. Food rations, gas rations, cloth rations, every type of ration was saved in case of an emergency, every scrap was used, reused, and reused a thousand times again before the thought of throwing it out became an option.

But, for me, it was fun. The war had drawn the whole village together, and there was always something to do in all the excitement. Moments where Natsume and I just strolled around the beach and enjoying the scenery from the backyard was precious, and even more fun then the road trips we had once taken. For me, everything seemed precious and – in an odd way – fragile, as if I was living in a dream.

And the dream was all too soon shattered and the war had leaped unto our village and our peace and devoured it with one fell swoop.

It didn't come in the form of recruitment, or bombing or whatever. But it came as something much more confusing and tragic. The war came in Youichi.

That horrible day came three years from the start of the war, everything was normal. It was due to the war that some of the children now helped the adults with the daily chores since everyone's hands seemed to be busy with something to do, whether it be sewing blankets, or collecting donations.

I was in the house, thinking about dinner, when this horrible shattering noise came from nearby. I had rushed out to see what as going on, oblivious to any intent of danger, and swung the porch door open. It came from our neighbour's house, I concluded, as their windows were all shattered and the front door was swung wide open.

_I bet they'll need a lot of help finding new glass with limited rations,_ I had thought and crossed over to their yard just as the silver-haired boy rushed out.

"Youichi, what are you doing?" I asked, and it was then that I found that he was armed with a revolver, a revolver that was pointed straight at me.

"You- you never saw this," he cried, his face emotionless, his tone was hard, but his eyes were terrified and his hand was shaking. Then, as fast as he had appeared before me, he ran into the woods and disappeared in an instant.

I clearly remember wondering what kind of prank the boy was trying to pull. But it really wasn't like Youichi to be such an irresponsible kid, he was really mature, and cool headed; he was always tailing my Natsume, and I had a clear liking towards him.

Curious, though a bit shaken, I made my way up the porch through the door; my eyes trained on the floor to look out for shattered glass. There are times where, for example if one writes the same word over and over again, the sight becomes natural yet foreign at the same time. When the truth is shoved in your face, and it's right in front of you but you don't understand it at all. This is what was running through my mind as I stared blankly at the blood on the floor. Red. It was everywhere, as if a painter had come and splashed buckets of paint of the floor by mistake. Dripping… soaking… the rug was turning crimson. If a painter had come, than the buckets of paint he spilled were people. Youichi's parents.

I screamed for help, but didn't dare to move from my position. Neighbours, already curious about the gun shots, made their way into the house instantly.

It was horrible, I remember crying in his arms once he got home. "How could he do it? Why would he do it?" I asked Natsume.

"I don't know," he would answer softly, and then he'd kiss me on the forehead and ruffle my hair like I was a little girl.

It was all I need at that moment for him to be there for me, and I clung feverishly onto his shirt as if by doing so, the world would stop, and the pain won't hurt, and dusk will never come.

That year, Youichi was only six years old.

* * *

Life seemed to go on after that incident. Autumn gave way to winter, which melted into spring. The town never really stopped wondering what had happened to Youichi, they simply said that he had gone mad, that he was a monster. And eventually, everyone stopped talking about the incident, and the Youichi Accident became a taboo in our village.

When the ice on the lakes started to melt, a tense atmosphere hanged in the air. Everyone knew something was coming. Those times, I'd spent as much time with Natsume as possible, whenever he'll get home. It was like an obsession, I lived my life for him; once he gets home, he'll spend every minute with me; we were always together.

One afternoon, shouts of excitement came and a small group of soldiers came to the town. Those foolish boys were ecstatic, while the reaction of most of us was fear. He lied to me, Natsume lied. Everything wasn't going to be all right. My heart dropped and my smile slipped away as he told me that he'd signed up for the war. My Natsume had signed up.

"Why?" I asked him. "You said nothing good was gonna come out of the war. You said that you'd never leave me."

"I want to find Youichi, there's something that I want to confirm."

My eyes watered, this was the worse day ever.

"But you'll leave me all alone!"

He took a couple of steps towards me, and wrapped his arms around me, breathing in my hair as he whispered, "Silly girl, I'll always be with you in spirit. You know those cheesy romance books that you've read, well, they can be real stories too."

"You'll leave her all alone too," I sobbed.

"Crying so much will get you a pretty moody baby."

I knew Natsume was a free spirit, and that he couldn't be held back by me. That's what I loved about him, and the reason that I allowed him to go. The days before he left, he spent every moment with me, and the morning of that dreaded day came much too fast. I remembered getting up in the morning and making a hasty breakfast, there was a spark of excitement as we bickered about the small details and the final packing.

"…And don't forget to write a lot, 'kay?"

I followed him to the bus stop, and waved until I couldn't see the shadow of the train in the mist. All of the sudden, the excitement was gone, and the jolly atmosphere of all those who had said their good-byes had slipped away with the train. It was so silent as I made my way home, the hole in my heart felt like it could burn me alive. I got back into bed, which was still a bit warm, and fell asleep as if this was all a bad dream; a dream that I could wake up from to see his smiling face and a warm and happy ending.

Three years passed, and I never heard from Natsume again. Partially because the telegraph lines didn't reach our town, partially because the war was getting so heated that there wasn't much time to deliver all the letters, or maybe even write any. It was in May that the telegraph lines were _finally _established, and a few weeks later someone banged on my door.

I remembered that my heart jumped at the sound and I rushed to the door. "Ringo, be a good little girl, don't touch the milk jug!" I instructed on my way.

"Good morning lady," said the officer that greeted me. And then he took off his hat and handed me a letter. 'MIA' it printed. "I offer my condolences, but there's another package that I wanted to deliver to you."

It felt like I couldn't breathe, and the world was moving in slow motion. My eyes wondered towards the horizon and then, I realized that the officer hadn't come alone, and a small cloaked figure stood by his side.

"It couldn't be…" I whispered as he lifted his hood. "Youichi?"


End file.
